


The Gravity Falls Community Theater Presents...

by Feneris



Category: Gravity Falls, Transcendence AU - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence, David Thinks He Can't Act, Excessive Theater Blood, Gen, Illusions in Theater, Real Fire, Theater - Freeform, community theater
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 05:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6360787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feneris/pseuds/Feneris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The various clubs and organizations of Gravity Falls had all agreed to take turns putting on a play in the new Gravity Falls Community Theater. The Gravity Falls Gun Club had done "Guns of Our Forefathers," and the local Literary Circle had done a remake of Twin Souls as a slasher film.</p><p>Then the Gravity Falls Historical Reenactment Club took the stage, Sarah coerced David into playing Alcor, a guy nicknamed "Psycho" was put in charge of the pyrotechnics, and they went through two hundred gallons of theater blood before they had even made it through the first act.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gravity Falls Community Theater Presents...

**Author's Note:**

> A crazy idea that wouldn't leave me alone. Basically I had the idea of Sarah talking David into dressing up as Alcor, then I added the whole Community Theater aspect. Then the idea of David freaking out the audience by getting "Demon" down too well crossed my mind.
> 
> I would appreciate it if anyone could point out any glaring typos they see. I finished writing this at two in the morning, so my editing is not what it normally is.

The Gravity Falls Community Theater was new. The Town Council, apparently having learned nothing from the debacle that was the new community center, had decided that Gravity Falls needed to encourage the arts in areas that did not directly relate to the tourist industry. Unlike the community center however, the theater was not an utter disaster. Not only did it avoid winding up in the middle of a farmer’s field in Wyoming, the people of Gravity Falls had actually decided they kind of liked it. (After they had egged the Town Council first of course.)

Since Gravity Falls didn’t have community theater troupe, various groups around town had taken turns hosting plays. The Circle of the Dreamers’ Star had put on the traditional version of “Black and Gold,” The Gravity Falls Gun Club had done “Guns of Our Forefathers,” and the Gravity Falls Literary Circle had done “Twin Souls,” reimagined as a slasher flick. 

The Gravity Falls Historical Reenactment Club, of which Sarah was a member, had gotten the next spot. They had been inspired by the Literary Circle’s production. They wanted to do something with Alcor. But the work they wanted to bring to the theater wasn’t Twin Souls.

“We’re doing G.H. Mathew’s “The Games of Demons.”” Sarah announced.

“Twin Souls: The Slasher, wasn’t bloody enough for you eh?” David remarked from his place on the couch. “Sounds like fun.”

“I’d also like to ask you a favor.” 

David’s book snapped shut. “What kind of favor?”

“We were talking about who we wanted to do which parts, and someone suggested we have you play Alcor. So…”

“No,” David flipped open his book and made a good show at pretending to read. “I have no desire to have anything to do with acting.”

“Why? It’ll be fun. You’ll get to be the main character.”

“Even worse. Look, I can’t act, I hate being the center of attention, and I’ve never so much as set foot on stage since my last elementary school Christmas concert. I’ll make a bloody fool of myself in front of the whole town.”

“Please,” Sarah pleaded. “I’m not asking for much. You won’t have to do any of the cleaning up or set building. We’ll supply you with a costume. You can come with me to the rehearsals. We’re only doing one performance, so you won’t be asked to do it again.”

David gritted his teeth.

“I’ll owe you big,” Sarah said. “I’ll go with you to that family reunion of yours, and play interference with that annoying cousin. The one who keeps asking you if you’ve dug up any interesting dinosaurs and keeps saying you should get your Sight treated.” 

“Keep Scott off my back for the whole reunion?” 

“I can’t promise miracles, but I’ll try.” 

“I hope you know what you’re getting into.” David took a deep breath. “I’m going to regret this. Okay.”

“Thank you,” Sarah said with relief. “I’m serious, we didn’t have enough members for a full cast if we included the effects, and costume people. Really, we needed your help.” 

“Please don’t tell me you’re playing Mizar? Trying to pretend that you’re my half-daughter would just be too weird.” 

“No, Wendy Corduroy,” Sarah answered. “Cathy Mitchel is playing Mizar.”

“Who’s that again?”

“Blonde hair, green eyes, very quiet.” 

“Oh her! She’s playing Mizar? In a theatrical rendition of “A Demon’s Game!?” Brave woman.” 

“That’s why her husband Brad is playing the Woodsmen,” Sarah explained. “Would be way too awkward otherwise.”

“What’s the rest of the cast looking like?”

“Well, you’re going to have to play Tyrone Spruce,” Sarah explained. “It’s only for one scene, and Erik will have an illusion to represent Alcor.”

“Wait… Psycho Erik? Don’t tell me he’s the one doing the effects!” 

“He’s the only one who knows anything about pyrotechnics and illusions!”

“Oh gods and demons. Why did I agree to this?”

“Scott.”

“Right. Who else?” 

“Harold Kirkson is playing Stan Spruce, the huckster and occultist. Steve Myser is playing Gideon the Dupe, and Immia Huisk is playing Soos the Handyman. We’ve even got plans for a giant pyramid puppet to play Bill Cipher.” 

“Who’s in charge of costumes and makeup?”

“Kimberly Almosakov.”

“Krazy Kim!?”

\---

_David: I heard an explosion, and there’s smoke coming from the theater. Are you alright!? What happened!?_

**Sarah: Fine. Just an accident on set.**

_David: I’m hearing sirens too. Sounds like the ambulance and the fire trucks._

_David: And the police as well._

**Sarah: Don’t worry the fire’s out. Just a few misunderstandings with the special effects crew.**

_David: You’re the people who thought letting Psycho handle flammable chemicals and fireworks was a good idea._

_David: What happened?_

**Sarah: He didn’t tell us he wanted to use real fire in the play.**

**Sarah: Don’t worry, we talked it over.**

**Sarah: We’ll make sure the fire-hose is actually working next time.**

_David: Gods and demons._

\---

“I’m so glad it’s not your turn on the front desk today.” Jack Heston declared. “That’s you right David?” 

“Yes,” the humanoid mass of gold and black shadows replied. “Sarah shanghaied me into playing Alcor for the Reenactment Club’s play. I’ve been practicing my illusions for it. I need to be able to hold them for as long as I am on stage.”

“Don’t you have an effects person to handle that?”

“The effects person is Psycho Erik. There’s only so much he can do at once.” David explained. “There’s also only so much of him I’ll trust around my person. I’d rather do my own illusions thanks.” 

“Gods and demons.”

“That’s what I said.” the mass of shadows replied. “I figure the less he has to worry about my effects. The more he can focus on not setting us all on fire.”

“I’m surprised Sarah even managed to talk you into this in the first place,” Jack admitted.

“She offered to keep my cousin Scott out of my hair when I go to the family reunion next month,” David said with a sigh. “If you ever meet Scott, and for your sake I pray you never do, you’ll know exactly why I agreed to this. I’m going to make a bloody fool of myself in front of the entire town.” 

“The illusion looks good.” Jack reassured him. “Give me a few lines. Let’s see how you do.” 

“I’m on the clock,” David pointed out.

“And I’m your boss. Don’t worry about it.”

“Alight. Just give me a few moments.” David closed his eyes. His lips moved as he silently recited lines, trying to find his place in the play. 

The shadow encircling David suddenly sprang forward like snakes. Even though they were illusions, Jack could feel them wrap around his arms and neck. Cold, oily, real. 

**_”CIPHER!”_** David howled, his voice suddenly reverberating with a demonic echo. He lurched forward, his face inches from Jack, giving the man a good view straight down a gaping golden maw. **”I care nothing for this world! Do you think the lives of these mortals mean anything more to me than they do to you!? They are nothing but means to my ends! I would have left you alone. Let you and your pathetic goons have your way with this world. But then you threatened my kin. _MY_ daughter!” **

Golden eyes narrowed in malice.

**”Mark my words Cipher. I will not tolerate any being that threatens what is _mine!_ I will see your ruined Bill Cipher! You watch the fruit of your plans fall into my hands! I will devour your being, leaving you nothing but a husk, while I take your power for myself! All because you threatened what belongs to _ME!_ ”**

The shadows suddenly retreated, condensing back into a vaguely humanoid form. “Well,” David said. “How did I do?” 

“Good,” Jack assured him, leaning back in his chair. “You’re really worrying over nothing. Considering the performance you just gave me, I doubt you’ll humiliate yourself in front of the whole town.”

David let out a snort. “Glad at least you think so. I better get back to work. See ya.” 

Jack watched David exit the office and turn down the hallway to his own workspace. “Right,” he said, looking down at his hands, which were clenching the armrests his chair in a white knuckle grip. “First things first. Get your fingers unclenched from your chair. Let’s see. There’s one finger… two… three and four. Now five… just a little bit more… got it. There’s six, seven… eight… nine and ten!”

He was proud that his hands only shook a little bit as he picked up his phone and dialed his wife. “Honey? It’s me. You remember that conversation this morning, where you were deciding whether or not to get tickets to the community play this month? Get them. This is gonna be a good one.”

\---

“That,” Isa Pines declared, as her and her husband Greg walked through the door to their house. “Was one of the freakiest things I have ever seen.” 

“What do you… what happened to you guys!?” Heidi Whiteweir, the neighbor they had hired to babysit the kids that evening, starred at the two of them in shock. 

“Warnings for depictions of violence and sexual content they said,” Isa muttered. “Might be a bit graphic Sarah said.” 

“Only the only time when there wasn’t blood being splattered on the walls was when everyone was too busy having sex to kill each other.” Greg groaned, wiping theater blood out of his eyes. “That’s not even including the cannibalism and the pseudo-necrophilia.” 

“Pseudo-necrophilia?” Heidi asked tentatively. 

“Of all the scenes they had to keep from the book,” Isa muttered. “It’s not completely necrophilia because he comes back to life half-way through it. I’m never going to be able to look Cathy or Brad in the eyes again. Only thing that kept it from being classified as porn was because their pants stayed on.”

“Oh my… what about David? You said he was really worried about being in the play?”

Greg shuddered. “I am going to have nightmares about him devouring my soul.”

“I am going to kill Sarah for suggesting he play Alcor.” Isa declared. “David didn’t need to worry. A real demon couldn’t have done a better job. He could have actually been Alcor for all I know. I couldn’t tell if all those effects were real, or just illusions.”

“And the scene at the end, where Alcor devours Bill Cipher. Gods, they had to have the most literal interpretation of it. Theater blood was spraying everywhere.” Greg wiped some more blood off his forehead. “I got one of the larger gushers straight to the face.” 

“And at the end,” Isa continued. “They had the actors waiting by the door to collect donations for the local animal shelter. David was still in his Alcor costume, floating top hat and all. Still in character too. I’ve never heard a polite request sound so much like a dire threat in my life! Greg ended up giving them over five hundred dollars.”

“I was terrified,” Greg protested. “Everyone was! I saw people just toss their wallets into his hat and then make a mad bolt for the parking lot.” 

“Of course Sarah didn’t help anything. Sitting by the door, sharpening that axe.” Isa complained. “Those two just got right into it. There was this fight between Wendy Corduroy and Alcor in the middle of the play. For two people who claim they haven’t had sex since they were in high school, they sure managed to cram a shit-ton of sexual tension into a five-minute fight scene.” 

“Got real surreal when Wendy started accusing Alcor of turning down the thermostat in the house, in addition to killing her family and desecrating her ancestor’s graves.” Greg remarked. “And then Alcor accuses her of tracking muddy boot prints through the kitchen, in addition to holding his daughter hostage and threatening to murder his agents on earth.” 

“It didn’t help that they had Psycho Erik doing the special effects. Plumes of blue fire seven feet tall, and you can bet your ass it was all real. It was a miracle they didn’t burn the whole theater to the ground. Kelly McCormick was next to us in the front row. Had their eyebrows burnt off by a burst of green fire over ten feet wide.” 

“They even cut the gravity to the theater during the opening scene of Weirdmaggedon,” Greg moaned. “We’re all hanging onto our seats for dear life, while David hurls lightning bolts at a giant rubber pyramid that looks like a cross between a children’s cartoon and a nightmare born out of a two am drinking binge mixed with LSD.” 

“Oh my god.” Heidi was looking at them in disbelief. “Did you at least get your money’s worth?”

“Sarah gave us the tickets for free. So I’d say yes.”

“I’m going to go take a shower, get all this fake blood off,” Greg announced, pushing past Heidi and heading for the bathroom.

“Don’t worry about us,” Isa assured Heidi once Greg was out of sight. “It’s the Gravity Falls Auto Club next for the play. Greg is going to help put on “A Slow Love on a Twisted Road.” We’ve already got David and Sarah front row tickets.” A long, smug smile crossed her face. “Sarah can’t stand slow romances and David is going to be gnawing his arm off at all the romantic drama. It will be the perfect revenge for making us sit through three hours of bloodshed, mayhem, and manipulation. And that was just in the lineup at the concession.”


End file.
